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January, I Bite My Thumb At You!

Monday, January 14, 2008
So do you remember how thrilled I was on January 1, when I finished the last chapter of my dissertation? Well that wasn't just the high point of the year, that was the only bright spot. I started working in my new job on the 2nd, and had to work every single day, at least 10 hours a day (sometimes more) and frequently on the weekend. I've also been sick - yes I worked over the weekend while I was ill. How's that for dedication? But apparently this level of work wasn't good enough, because I was essentially attacked by my boss and one of the senior researchers because they didn't like how I did it. And afterwards it turns out that my "screw-ups" were a)extremely minor, or b) the result of edits to my work by the very people yelling at me. I've been given huge projects to do with little time to do them in and no consideration from my superiors of what they're asking, or that the pursuit of one ridiculous deadline is compromising every other deadline. And instead of appreciation, I've gotten nothing but criticism. To make matters worse, I've been responsible not just for my new job, but I've continued to be treated like an assistant and given all the work from my old job too. I even have the same office, which I share with a graduate student. Everybody else in my position has their own office. I know that's a small point, and I feel kind of silly making it, but it's certainly an important symbolic gesture.

To make matters worse, yesterday afternoon I discovered that my bright spot wasn't really a bright spot at all. When I went to edit my last chapter, I discovered that all the work I'd done on the 1st was gone. Completely evaporated. Poof. It turns out that, like Weezy, I saved an older copy of the chapter over the new one. So my backups were useless, and I've been wandering around thinking I was done when I still had my most difficult chapter to write.

Things had better start looking up soon, or I'm just going to wig out.
Posted by Arbitrista @ 6:51 AM
  • Arbitrista,

    Thanks :) I know this is going to sound terrible, but reading your post made me feel so much better. (Trust me, I would never wish what happened to both of us on anyone! It was nice to know that I wasn't alone though...) Given the decline in interest in my blog, it just seemed better to go away till I could be more entertaining...

    This was my worst chapter too, and while it was written, it totally sucked. Yesterday I thought I had it all figured out and completely rewrote most of it. I was at wig out stage last night for alot of the same reasons--- crap at work and dissertation pain.

    Anyway, thanks for the post--- hang in there.

    By Blogger Weezy, at 8:39 AM  
  • Oh god, what a sucky way to start the month. And I totally get the "symbolic gestures" stuff at work. Sometimes the right symbolic gesture can make all the difference... and so can the absence of them.

    Here's to a better last half of the month!!

    By Blogger Maggie, at 8:54 AM  
  • Darn it, this is the second time I've tried to post this comment. Stupid blogger.

    Thanks guys. Weezy - reading your post made me feel better too. I was about ready to cry yesterday.

    By the way, I wouldn't want you to make too much of "declining interest" in your blog. Everyone is our group has been blogging less lately- life has been hard this month! - and the sitemeter programs don't always pick up people reading on bloglines, which a lot of folks use. Don't leave us!

    By Blogger Arbitrista, at 9:11 AM  
  • Oh, that just bites big time! :( So sorry to hear about your health issues, job woes, and dissertating issue. I do hope the 2nd half of January treats you better than the first.

    By Blogger RageyOne, at 10:36 AM  
  • oh no, that sucks, i am so sorry arbitrista. i hope your bosses soon take the sticks out of their asses and that you feel better as well.

    By Blogger JustMe, at 6:23 PM  
  • Ow!
    Hang in there: the chapter will be the better for it, as frustrating as this all is.

    The job, though?? You definitely need to ask for an assistant, to be the old you.

    By Blogger Ursa, at 8:03 PM  
  • Dude, that blows. Sounds like the people you work with enjoy having their head up their asses purely for comfort.

    Hang in there!

    By Blogger Seeking Solace, at 10:56 AM  
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