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About The Future

Tuesday, December 01, 2009
I'm not really sure what to do with this blog lately. I don't have the heart to quit it, any more than I could find a way to drop my dissertation when it became clear that I didn't want to be an academic anymore. I suppose I'm a sucker for the sunk cost fallacy. At some level my itch to write is getting scratched by plugging away at my novel every morning. And my urge to bitch about politics is less than it was, not because I'm not paying attention (I wish I could just not pay attention), but because I'm so discouraged. Every concern I had about Obama during the 2008 campaign - and some things I didn't expect - have been fulfilled. I won't get into the details now - let's just say that he's been a massive disappointment, squandering a once-in-a-generation opportunity.

What do I blog about? I've done my best to keep my anonymity, but I'm hesitant to say too much about my work life. It's not like I'm in NYC anymore, safely anonymous among the millions. And while I'm still engaged in local politics, I have drawn back a bit from general burnout and wanting to focus on other things. And who wants to hear me talk about writing my book? Maybe I should, since Brazen Hussy is sick to death of hearing about it.

So yes, I'm in a funk. Maybe it's the weather, or the world, or wondering where I'm going to be in a year. Maybe it's the insomnia I've been struggling with, or my total exasperation with my job. Or maybe I'm just being whiny.

I suppose I'll do what one is supposed to do with writer's block, which I suppose this is a strange species of. One sits down at the computer, turns it on, opens the program, and starts to type. Whatever happens happens. I've never been very good and just letting life happen, so maybe this will be good practice.
Posted by Arbitrista @ 11:40 AM
  • Re politics, I feel exactly the same way.

    "...he's been a massive disappointment, squandering a once-in-a-generation opportunity."

    I start getting really furious about this if I dwell on it for more than a moment, so I've been doing my best to pay as little attention as possible.

    What discourages me even more is that there is virtually no chance someone better can replace him in 4 years. I would love nothing better than for a real progressive to take him on and beat him, because that's what he deserves. But that would probably be even longer odds than electing the 1st black president.

    So the best we can probably hope for is that he grows a decent set of balls in the next few years. Hillary must have gotten his in exchange for her concession speech...not that she needed them.

    By Blogger Rebecca, at 4:16 PM  
  • Draw pictures!

    By Blogger Jesse, at 7:11 PM  
  • Both you and Rebecca really sum up how I feel about the administration. I'll have to find a recap of the speech last night, but sadly I'm engaging in willful ignorance. My husband was right--he's just another politician who isn't going to do squat. Because really, let's prolong the war further. It's worked out so well thus far. Sigh.

    RE: the blog. Do tell us about the novel! I'm sure people were so tired of hearing about my dissertation, but getting all that out really helped me move forward with it, so maybe unloading all the crap that is getting you caught up might get you through it.

    AND whine all you want! I mean, I should start serving cheese with the amount of whine I've got going on. Again, maybe it might help clear out all the stuff that's keeping you from feeling productive? Just a thought.

    I totally feel like a blog crasher right now, too. Sorry.

    By Blogger Maude Lebowski, at 7:06 AM  
  • This comment has been removed by the author.

    By Blogger Maude Lebowski, at 7:06 AM  
  • Rebecca: Yeah, what's most frustrating is that this is the sort of presidency we could have reasonably expected from a Clinton administration. The Democratic Party (barely) nominates the non-Clinton candidate, and still gets this crap!

    Jesse: My artistic capabilities, which have a poor reputation, have been exaggerated.

    Maude: No such thing as party-crasher here! And thanks for the support. I'm thinking over how I feel about Afghanistan and will try to write about it soon, but maybe writing about my novel isn't such a bad idea.

    By Blogger Arbitrista, at 9:25 AM  
  • I understand. Sometimes it is difficult to find that delicate balance about what to write about. Do what makes you comfortable and when you can.

    By Blogger RageyOne, at 7:18 PM  
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